Resolute: Making a Serious Change

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I made my first serious, grown up New Year’s resolution this year. I always thought it was a pointless endeavor to make a promise to myself, mostly because I never felt the need to promise anything truly serious. In any case, I can’t hold myself accountable to myself, because I’m a much too forgiving person. But this year, it felt like I needed to make a serious change.

I’m not drastically changing my lifestyle; my goal isn’t to exercise five times a week, to eat more veggies or to just “be a better person.” But this change will be incredibly hard to accomplish nonetheless. My goal: quit smoking.

I know that sounds melodramatic to non-smokers (and perhaps even to some smokers who have never tried to quit before.) But I don’t think most people would smoke cigarettes if they had the choice to quit, just like that. This habit is ingrained in every part of a person’s life, from eating to driving to waking up. Not having a cigarette as part of your daily routine is like not having a phone, or your keys or anything else that you normally use several times a day.

I have been smoking since I was 17. I’m 21 now. When I started it wasn’t supposed to become an addiction. I suppose that’s never anyone’s goal when they start. Since then, my grandmother has been diagnosed with emphysema as a result of 50 plus years of smoking. Knowing that I am willfully putting myself at a higher risk for such diseases doesn’t sit right with me. I wouldn’t repeatedly do anything else so dangerous of my own volition. I have stopped enjoying smoking, but I can’t kick the habit.

This is where I am: I have purchased an electronic cigarette (which may or may not be a good way to help me quit.) In the two or so weeks since New Year’s, I have cut down my cigarette intake to a few a day and sometimes I go a few days without. But my real goal is to quit smoking cigarettes completely, as well as my e-cigarette. I don’t want to trade one habit for another, even if it’s supposed to be “healthier.”

I can tell you that so far, I am not as patient as I was when I smoked. I get irritated more often and I don’t sleep as well. My appetite is in flux. Sometimes I don’t want food for a day or so and sometimes I want food every few minutes. I am nowhere near my goal, but I know if I hold myself accountable I can get there eventually. I don’t know if anyone reading this cares or can relate, but you are, for all intents and purposes, the person holding me accountable for the promise I have made to myself. I will keep up this weekly blog in an attempt to help myself and, in the process, maybe help someone else.

image via notobaccoyesclove.wordpress.com

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About Author

I was born and raised in Arkansas, and most recently lived in Jacksonville. I live with my boyfriend and cat, and in my down time I like to knit, paint, and go camping. I would probably camp every weekend if I could. I'm a journalism major.

1 Comment

  1. As a reformed smoker, the best way is to put it down and pick up a new hobby. Exercise is the best to be honest. It takes 3 weeks to form a new habit to replace the old so hang in there.

    One honest piece of info to help you quit….SMOKERS STINK! Literally. You, your home, clothing, cars, everything around you STINKS like cigarettes. Stop stinking and start getting healthy.

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